I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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