3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
