I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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