i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
