toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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