I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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