I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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