Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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