walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
