Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
