getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
