I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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