it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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