so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
someone owes me an orgasm
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
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