dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
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Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
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Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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