We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
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no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I need to align my fucking chakras
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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