I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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