More tranny stories later!
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
