Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
