He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Randomize
