After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
