dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
tell me about the eggs
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
