remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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