I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Randomize
