Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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