How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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