I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
