I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
