No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Randomize
