K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
