Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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