I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
