I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
