Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Randomize
