this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
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