Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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