we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
