I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
