i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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