mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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