Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
