Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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