Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
