I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
