I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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