my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
