I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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