I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
