Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Randomize
