He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
false alarm, still single
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
