i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
