Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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