I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
