Your mouth is God's brothel.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
