UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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