He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
