i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
