I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
