That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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