When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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