is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
