can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
