If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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