i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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